Archive for the Humor Category

Kill Jill’s Awesome Thing Of The Week: Wearing a Tie Around Your Head

Posted in Awesome Things, Humor, Videos, Web on October 2, 2009 by Jill

This video is one of my distractions I now have in class. (Warning: this video includes the fudge-word. But it’s said in a silly English accent so it doesn’t actually count as profanity.)

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5 Reasons Why Going Back To School Sucks

Posted in Articles, City X, Classy!, College Stuff, General, Humor, Kill Jill, On Campus, Personal, Tips on September 13, 2009 by Jill

98688066_77354477acSo, this is my last day of freedom before getting back to class. I was super excited about getting back to school… Now I’ve realized I was just excited about getting back to City X. I’ve been here for a week and I’ve been busy- unpacking, working on my blogs, going to rock shows and spending time with pals.

And now I have to fit school into my schedule?! How in the heck am I going to do that?!

And, thus, here and ten reasons why going back to school sucks.

  1. Alarm clocks are the devil. Aren’t these things the worst?! Always waking you up during fantastic dreams and letting you know that you have to get up and, y’know, be not sleeping?! Ugh. Alarm clocks are horrible.
  2. The lack of free time. How dare school interrupt your social stuff? How dare it?! Stupid school stuff. I once read that you will learn more outside of class during college than in the classroom. (OK. Didn’t really read this. But I’m sure someone significant said it at one point in time. Probably.)
  3. Dealing with professors. Ugh, look at them in their silly tweed jacket. Who do they think they are anyway?! And who told them they were allowed to pick on you during class, especially when you have no clue what the answer was. Or even what the question was. Because you weren’t actually listening… Ugh. The nerve of those people!
  4. Dealing with classmates. Sure, you like some of them. Of course. But then there are also the ones who drive you nuts. Like What’s-His-Name in your Whatever 101 class. That guy is a certified idiot and a total d-bag. And how did he end up in more than one of your classes anyway? He’s likely stalking you. Oh, God. And what about What’s-Her-Name? Ugh, she’s horrible, isn’t she? Why do we, as a human race, have to deal with these people anyway? It’s. Not. Fair!
  5. Studying. It is almost 2010, for pete sake. There should be a Smart Pill*** or something by now, shouldn’t there?! A pill that you take before class so you retain everything the professor says during lectures and everything you read. Studying takes up way too much time- time that would be much better spent… I don’t know… watching CSI: Miami or playing World of Warcraft. Obviously.

(*** Don’t do drugs, kids. Even if your friends say it’s a Smart Pill. They’re probably lying. They just want to steal your liver and sell it on the black market. Probably.)

(Oh. And the above photo is by Kaptain Kabold. BTW.)

The Anatomy of a Dorm Room

Posted in Articles, College Stuff, Dorm Life, Health & Lifestyle, How-To, Humor, Links, Tips, Web on September 2, 2009 by Jill

Looking for a way to arrange your dorm furniture so it suits both you and your roommate?! Look no further! CollegeHumor has it under control.

Check out their article, The Anatomy of a Dorm Room, for some helpful furniture-arranging tips.

How To Spot a College Student

Posted in Articles, College Photos, College Stuff, General, Health & Lifestyle, How-To, Humor, Money Honey, Tips on August 20, 2009 by Jill
Photo by Robert S. Donovan

Photo by Robert S. Donovan

You’re sitting in a hospital emergency room, waiting to see a doctor about that furry lump growing on your foot. You’ve already read all the magazines (twice) and there’s no TV. You look around at the other patients around you. Your first thought, besides “Is the ’sleeping’ man beside me actually dead?”, is obviously “I wonder if there are any college students here.” Here are some tips for picking a college student out of a crowd.

  1. The college hoodie. Look around for a college emblem. That’s usually the first give-away. This hoodie will also likely be stained because most college students own no clothing besides their college hoodie. They sleep in it. They go to class in it. They drink in it. They puke in (on) it.
  2. Sweatpants. If there are no college hoodies in sight, look for a college-age person in sweat pants. They would probably be wearing jeans but the food at the cafeteria is so good and “I’m paying a lot of money for it anyway so I might as well eat all I want!” and now their jeans have all shrunk. (Stupid magical shrinking jeans!)
  3. Catching some Z’s. If the clothes aren’t a dead giveaway, the droopy eyelids should be. This is sometimes accompanied by earphones on the head of the aforementioned snoozer.
  4. Socks. Of course they’re wearing sneakers. This is an obvious one. Mismatched socks give you five points. Ten points if the kid isn’t wearing any socks. (Doing laundry is uber-lame.)
  5. Did you say “free”?! Nobody loves free food more than a starving, broke student. I once saw a freshman wrestling with a homeless guy for a package of Mr. Noodles. (***) Go to the nearest vending machine, purchase a chocolate bar and then ask if anybody wants it. Before the words are even out of your mouth, that person you thought might be a college student will be shoving that Snickers down their gullet.

And there you have it. Tips for spotting a college student. Have fun! Feel free to comment and add your own tips for this ever-amusing game!

(*** OK. Didn’t actually see a freshman wrestling with a homeless guy. But I think it would have been a little funny to see a homeless guy giving a freshman an unexpected elbow-drop to the face. Yes, no?)

Kill Jill’s Awesome Thing Of The Week: Fonts

Posted in Awesome Things, Humor, Links, Videos, Web on July 31, 2009 by Jill

My favorites are Verdana and Georgia. But this video (from our pals at CollegeHumor) really sort out the good from the bad.

CLICK HERE, SILLY FOOLS!

Vacational.

Posted in Apartment X, City X, College Stuff, General, Humor, Kill Jill, Personal, Videos, Web on July 23, 2009 by Jill

I took a 3-day trip to City X with Jenn, got back yesterday. It’s a very touristy town so there were lots of things for us to check out. (And by “things”, I mean “pubs” and by “check out”, I mean “drink at”.) Also, Jenn and I discussed moving in together next year (as in, after this school year) and I think we’re going to do it. She’s swell. And I’m turning 22 this year so I think I’m a little old to be living in a dorm again. I’m really looking forward to getting back to class. I need my old routine back.

With that being said, here’s the newest video from our friends at Westwood College.

Westwood College: Helping You Build a Better Career

Posted in Classy!, College Stuff, General, Humor, Links, Videos, Web on July 15, 2009 by Jill

Thinking about going back to school to better your career? Check out this clever, funny video. (And even if you’re in college and doing fine, you should still watch the video. It’s pretty funny.)

I mean, really. Who wouldn’t want to be a “road kill detective”??

Westwood College is trying to get more people to like what they do. Heck, you might be in that career for a long time. So, you might as well like it. Westwood College offers 3-year programs in several different states and in programs in areas like technology, design, health care, business and more. Check out the Westwood College for more details.